CoudreMODE » Fashion Tribes

Gearing Up For Nationals – The Fashion Challenge

coudremode — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 13:53:00 +0000

"Moonlight Clowns"

Believe it or not, I have been sewing, but nothing has been in the “interesting to blog about” category. Made a few pairs of HP Marrakesh pants to wear around the house and also made up Vogue 8936 but my serger won’t do a coverhem so that project is on hiatus until I get it up to New Hampshire to be serviced. In the meantime, Bunny has inspired me to make up McCall’s 6116 shirtdress in seersucker to wear in Florida next week for ADA. American Dance Awards Nationals is kind of like a big convention; between the dancers, parents and teachers it’s about 3,500 people. ADA happens at big resorts; this year it’s at the Caribe Royale in Orlando. The people watching is pretty good and I need to takes notes for a dance competition version of fashion tribes. People come from all over the US and Canada; this year I want to look more polished. Not businesslike, but definitely not flip flop casual. Of course the indoor temps will be air-conditioned Arctic and outside it will be in the 90′s and meltingly humid. And then there is all the dance stuff we need to schlep…

A national dance competition requires much much more than just vacation clothes. Between Abby and Emma we have 18 costumes and a raft of accessories: stage makeup, eyelashes, hair clips, earrings, hairspray and gels (for that slicked back dancer hair, no wisp

"Positive Affirmations"

ies allowed), wigs, hairpins, hairnets (to wear under wigs and for making a ballet bun) dance tights and dance shoes. Plus a couple leotards for the dance classes they take when they’re not competing. Add to this is regular clothes, bathing suits and evening clothes/shoes for two awards banquets. We’re lucky this year in that they need only their tap shoes and ballet slippers.

Oh – and only their costumes, dance shoes and accessories can go into our three carry-on bags because we can’t risk lost baggage…ALL of our regular clothes need to go into our checked bags, and of

course the airlines now charge checked bag fees. There are also weight limits; ballet slippers weigh nothing, but tap shoes are heavy – that’s 4 lbs right there for two pairs of tap shoes.

So my challenge will be to look good for 8 days with as few of my own clothes and shoes as possible. Stay tuned!

Fashion, She is a Harsh Mistress

coudremode — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:13:15 +0000

Fashion Tribes – Morning Coffee Shop

coudremode — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:39:01 +0000

I like to stop for coffee on the way in to work, and after almost 2 years at my current job the morning coffee fashion tribes at my local establishment are well defined…

Work Out Babe – This is a pumped up woman in Uggs and a flashy track suit, either Juicy Couture (high end) or Pink (low end). Her sweat pants have a provocative noun or adverb printed on the butt; she wears makeup and hoop earrings to the gym. She drives an Escalade or a Hummer2 and leaves it running at the curb. Takes forever to order because she has to consult with the person at the register about every item on the menu and its caloric content.

Moscow Mobster – Instead of a suit this guy wears a lavishly fringed black leather cowboy jacket with big raglan shoulder pads. His jeans have creases pressed into them and he also sports black cowboy boots and a belt with a huge silver buckle. He’s a bad dude who looks like Pee Wee Herman. Has a cell phone glued to his ear and rapidly scolds people in Russian, switching between two conversations. He occasionally breaks into English and proceeds to browbeat some unfortunate soul for not getting something across a border. Might be on the OFAC list. Drives a used late model Lexus or baby Mercedes that he bought with cash.

Salary Man - He is feeling the pressure and has a 3 hour commute from another state. Wears a (Scott) brown barn jacket and drives a Toyota Tundra vanity truck. Probably sleeps with his Bluetooth device attached to his head. Like Moscow Mobster he carries on two conversations at once, using his best sotto voce to make sure everyone in the vicinity knows how busy he is. Cannot stand waiting for even 30 seconds and if he is behind you in line you can almost feel his breath on your neck. Conveniently parks in the handicapped spot because he keeps his mother’s hang tag in the truck.

Marshalls Matron – Often does not make an appearance until after 9:00am, stopping by to fortify herself for a morning of heavy shopping. Wears a quilted coat and carries a metallic Kathy Van Zeeland bag that makes your eyes hurt. Is in her late 60′s but mysteriously has no grey hair. Never moves to the side after she gets her change and always counts it before she puts away her wallet.

Life is Good – This gent took an early retirement 25+ years ago. Meets his buddies every morning for coffee, politics, sports and investing tips. Drives a Detroit sedan, either an old Caddie or a Buick. Wears a baseball cap, an old Timberland jacket and Merrells. Has a winter home in Ft. Myers and a rock solid pension. Methodically plants himself in front of the coffee station, fills his cup, adds sugar one packet at a time, STIRS IT and takes a sip all the while holding up 20 commuters who just want to get to work.

Mobile Office – this is guy who uses the free Wi-Fi to run his business. Drives a sporty Volvo with a Thule rack. He nurses one cup of coffee and settles himself into a four person booth for a productive three hour session of email and phone calls. Jeans, a Patagonia fleece jacket and iEverything. Ignores all larger parties looking for tables, especially moms with small children and fragile seniors.

Fill ‘er up!

Fashion Tribes: Spring Vogue, From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

coudremode — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:07:20 +0000

I did mean to blog about the rest of the new Vogue patterns, and they seem to fall clearly into Fashion Tribes this time.

First the ridiculous…

Art is a Man’s Name

Art is meant for galleries and museums, as far as the “art” in ”art-to-wear” is concerned, only couture embodies true art in fashion. I really question the wearability of this stuff, and I’ll argue that most American women can’t wear designs like these, because truthfully, only skinny people can wear baggy clothes. Every single one of these patterns reminds of the typical Brookline-Cambridge art-to-wear enthusiast. She is a chunky baby boomer who is a tenured professor in Women’s Studies married to a tenured economics professor who hasn’t had a real world job since the first Bush administration. She favors lots of oversize funky jewelry. Hair is a brassy Pat Field red. Despite the outlandish clothes and accessories she always wears sensible low heeled shoes, Naturalizer or Easy Spirit.

Yes the white outfit on the left is Ralph Rucci, but it’s also a bit Star Trek. This might look good if you’re going to a party on a boat but this is so memorable it almost can’t be worn more than once. As for the Issey Miyake on the right; he is masterful in his couture, but he hasn’t done anything good for Vogue Patterns in quite some time. This thing looks like drapery.

Party like its 2005

I guess Vogue didn’t get this memo either that the Duro and all of its many iterations are passé. The dress on the right is DKNY and I’m beginning to believe this acronym now stands for “Donna Karan is Never a Yes”.

Miss Kitty’s Bordello

Why aren’t these in the lingerie section? Good luck wearing them if you’re over a B-cup, especially the one with the boob ruffle.

Step Away from the Caftan

Every time I see a Koos Van Den Akker pattern I have the same reaction: good luck finding fabrics that work. I grant you, his designs are interesting in an intellectual way, but it is SO difficult to coordinate fabrics like this when they are not custom manufactured for the design. Run-of-the- mill quilting cottons are not the same thing, this design needs authentic ethnic fabrics like true batiks, Japanese chirimen cottons or true mud cloth. And don’t make it from polar fleece or sweatshirt knit!

Let’s do the Time Warp

The two on the left look like housework and/or maternity clothes. The top on the right is 1/2 of a mid 1980′s fast food uniform. That’s all I have to say about these.

Now the Sublime

V8574 (left) is great for poolside or shopping in hot weather and v8570 (middle) is a great summery dress that looks good on women of any age as long as you’re lithe enough to wear it. V1107 (right) is the other Ralph Rucci, I love this pattern, and can’t wait to open up the envelope to find out why it requires almost 5 years of fabric! In my stash I have some dotted silk that is just perfect.

Every one of these designs is just fine without the bow. The bows add nothing. The bows are on the back for v1102 (left) and v8573 (right).

This is a beautiful dress; a very Yves St. Laurent or Laura Bennet design. For the full effect though this needs to be made from silk jersey and success hinges on finding a great closure for the front, fortunately M&J Trimming has lots of them and in fact the closure on the dress mostly likely came from M&J because they have one that is identical. The waist needs to be stabilized with an inner belt because a heavy rhinestone closure will distort silk jersey. The pattern envelope notes this and given Ann’s recent experience with Vogue we can only hope this crucial construction detail has not been omitted from the instructions.

This is very cute in the sleeveless version but kind of dowdy and “I Love Lucy” in the sleeved version. I think McCall’s 5801 is a better full skirt sleeved shirtwaist.

April Fools? Not.

coudremode — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:26:37 +0000

For a minute I thought Vogue Patterns was doing a joke on us and then I realized – it was no joke; they’re serious! Who in their right mind would wear this????? It’s the perfect graduation ensemble for Clown College.

P.S. I’m not kidding, the model could be Mrs. Bello Knock

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

coudremode — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 02:10:00 +0000

Today was a a beautfiul fall day in Boston! Clear, crisp weather, blue skies, the temps were in the high 60′s – by far this is my favorite time of year because I can wear my favorite clothes. Today it was time to break out one of my favorite wool skirts and team it up with a nice turtleneck, kicky boots, a demin jacket, nice leather gloves and I’m all set for work.

As I got off the train at South Station I noticed that most people appeared to agree with me today, because everyone seemed to be wearing their new fall clothes, and for once I was surrounded by good fashion. Life was good. I strode confidently through South Station, marched downstairs to the subway, and nothing could darken my mood – not even the condescending look a woman gave me as I stood next to her on the platform.

“Whatever biotch, those ratty paisley cords are not exactly happening either” I said to myself, so pleased was I in my fashion superiority. And then I glanced down at my feet and saw this.

Fortunately I had an extra pair of brown shoes at work. I really need to get John to install those lights in my closets!

Fashion Tribes – Fall 2007, Office Edition

coudremode — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:26:04 +0000

Things have changed in workplace fashion since I entered the work force in 1980. Last week in a company-wide email our CEO noted that since we are a sponsor at big local trade show, and we will be hosting many visitors, she asked that everyone wear business casual to work this week.You’d think she was asking the women to wear corsets, and men to wear spats. You would not believe the complaining! Over business casual. Oh Please.

But this does segue nicely into the latest edition of Fashion Tribes, the Office Edition:

Sports Nut – This is a young guy, on the overweight side, who broadcasts support for his team in any way he can. His wardrobe is almost exclusively Official Team Merchandise. On the few occasions when he is dressed up he wears a $400 Official Team Leather Jacket with a shirt and tie, which makes him look a stadium groundskeeper. Something tells me these are the guys I see on TV who paint their chubby bodies in team colors, and stand half-naked & braying in the stands. If my daughters ever bring home guys like this I will be horrified.

Baby Mama – This as a woman under 35 who is expecting her first baby. For any number of reasons she eschews maternity clothes, so as her pregnancy progresses we are treated to way more boob and belly than we really need to see. In her first two trimesters she sticks with a tight t-shirt smoothed over her popped out belly button and maybe wears stiletto heels with her pregnancy jeans until she can’t take it anymore, and by her last trimester she is so sick of wearing the same three sundresses she adds a shrunken cardigan that she can’t even begin to button.

Endless Summer – This is a woman who will wear flip flops in the office into November if she can. Often combined with Baby Mama. Ladies – the only people who can get away with extending the summer via wardrobe are shorts-wearing UPS guys who do it because it’s locker room contest to see who can hold out the longest. The “No White Shoes After Labor Day” law needs to be amended to include flip flops.

Guilty Quilty – This fashion choice just screams “middle aged female”: a woman in a quilted microfiber jacket in black, beige or red (but oddly never a good red.) She also has a quilted brown-blue-cream Vera Bradley paisley bag AND a faux Pierre Deux quilted bag. Stop the insanity!

Party In My Cube – Female version: clothing that is too tight, too low and too short. Favors stiletto t-straps with crazy patterned stockings. Reeks of clashing scented hair and body products. Male version: clothing that is too tight, too wrinkled, and too faded. Has not worn leather shoes since his prom. His cologne is all that beer from the night before, slowing oxidizing through his pores. Often combined with Sports Nut during playoffs.

The New Mullet – You know this guy: young, smirky, walks down the street holding a lit cigarette that he never really smokes (then why bother?) Always has the newest anything from Apple. Carries a messenger bag slung over the back of his right hip. Wears his hair pressed into a ridge along the top of his head. Dude, in 15 years you will so regret every photo ever taken of you with that hair.

Hipster Doofus – This look is becoming very common in certain industries: shaved head (due to being prematurely bald, that part is ok ), shirt is always worn out, and the lack of hair is made up for with robust facial hair (goatee or soul patch.) I have to be honest here – I can’t tell these guys apart! From 10 feet away you look more alike than Blue Man Group.

The Woman Warrior – Now here I have to turn my wrath on myself. The next time you may be in Boston take a quick look round and count how often within the space of ten minutes you see this uniform on working women: black or brown pants, boots, shirt/turtleneck/t-shirt, denim jacket. Go ahead, count ‘em – you’ll be amazed. And one of them might be me!

Fashion Tribes – On The Commuter Rail (Winter Edition)

coudremode — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:07:14 +0000

I’ve been taking the commuter rail to work for over 6 years now, and I have to say, the people watching is excellent. One thing I’ve noticed are several common fashion archetypes that turn up again and again and again, season after season. Working in an urban environment and taking public transportation means is that appearance matters because thousands of people will see you. And if you think no one pays attention to how you look – well think again!

So here are my current favorites:

Captain of Industry as Caddy Shack – This is usually a middle aged executive who’s probably a partner in a law firm or he’s a fund manager. Basically, a guy who makes a lot of money. He’s wearing an expensive cashmere coat, carries an expensive Coach briefcase, and on really cold days – he wears a ratty baseball cap. What’s up with that? Why not a nice tweed cap one of those fabulous fur hats that Russians wear? Anything except that greasy and faded Red Sox cap!

Michelin Mom – Every time I see a woman dressed like this I wonder if she ever looks at herself in the mirror. This is generally a woman my age (late 40′s) who is 5 feet 5 inches tall or less (my height), she’s carrying about 25 extra pounds (not me, thankfully), and she is nonetheless wearing a quilted down coat. When the weather is dry she wears running shoes, and in wet weather she wears the adult version of those puffy little kid nylon boots. The only people who should wear quilted down coats are coeds who weight less than 120 lbs. And no one over the age of 7 should wear those puffy nylon boots.

Indiana Jones on the Stoughton Line – This guy is the reverse of the Captain of Industry yet he has the same problem. He might work at a university or he could be in high tech. He’s wearing a Timblerland ski parka with a Fedora. Why oh why do men think this casual/formal dichotomy works? It doesn’t. His briefcase is somewhere between a messenger bag and a man purse. The zipper on his parka is embellished with three years worth of tatty lift tickets so he can illustrate in a subtle way just how much money & time he spends on the slopes

Fashion Sherpa – This can be a woman of any age. She is loaded down with more than one bag; often a handbag, a tote bag AND a briefcase! My back hurts just looking at her. Sometimes this look is combined with Michelin Mom, which is just too painful for words. More often than not, the tote is a canvas L.L. Bean boat bag, which looks silly anywhere except on the deck of a boat, on the beach, or in the trunk of a car.

Mr. Beancounter – This is a guy who wears a crumpled and shapeless trenchcoat that looks like it hasn’t been to the cleaners in at least three years. Often carries an ancient old hard sided leather briefcase. Wears galoshes. He works for the State and been taking the commuter rail to work since the 70′s. He has a pension you would kill for.

Pet Lover – This is a cross-gender look, and for kicks I sometimes try to identify the breed of cat or dog that has deposited several ounces of hair into it’s owners wool coat.

VPN Crackberry – Another cross-gender look; this person is loaded down with technology. They are soooo busy at work they need a rolling briefcase to schlep a laptop and 100 lbs. of paperwork home everynight. They like to “work” on the train and when they’re not getting their ya-ya’s from an inscrutable 1,000 cell spreadsheet, they multitask with their PDA and listen to iTunes, which are always turned up way too loud. You’d be surprised how many grown men & women still listen to Eddie Money. They always have at least one phone conversation per trip, which is always the same, “Hi, it’s me. I’m on the train.” Really – you and 800 other people.

A final note on accessories. Rolling briefcases belong only in airports. They do not belong on the commuter rail! Aside from the fact that anyone who has one looks like a copier repairman; if your work stuff is that heavy than you need to put your bag on a diet. I don’t believe for a minute that all that stuff is really necessary. And I’m tired of tripping over your bag when you park it in the aisle.

So that’s my take on commuter rail fashion this winter. I feel much better now.